Whether you are among the those that count themselves lucky to single but looking to make your fantasies happen or you are already in a relationship — one of the wisest things you can do is to understand what is meant to stay a fantasy and what is meant to be acted out.
Archive for the ‘Kinky’ Category
For those who happen to fall between the traditional male/female sex and gender divide, dating can be a difficult proposition. Because so many people assume that if you are born female you are supposed to stay that way, and a man is always a man, a person whose natural impulse is to feel differently will have a lot of explaining to do. Though in the current state of society there may not be a time soon when being trans or gender fluid will be a complete non-issue, many people are becoming a lot more savvy on the topic. Some adult personals are particularly sensitive to the transgender experience.
Built on a balance beam of arousal, it is the side-by-side extremes of what twopeople want and how those desires compliment, oppose and interplay with one another that fuels most BDSM sex. Though the specifics of action, clothes worn, and words said and even roles played matters greatly in each given scenario-to a lesser or greater degree depending on the scenario-the entire edifice that is kinky sex is built on the intermingling of opposites. Even for the players the entire hierarchy of what is happening might allude them the more aroused they become, yet opposites do attract with kinky sex in the most basic of ways.
Its obvious in a dom/sub scenario how opposites fuel the fun. In almost any situation, from the most obvious top/bottom power-play pairing where a leather clad dominatrix beats her willing naked slave to a woman acting as a little girl crying over a recent spanking and her lesbian lover masturbating over the subs tears, it really is the flotsam and jetsam spinning off in completely divergent directions, but somehow meeting at a imploding focal point that sends both partners to the moon
sexually speaking. Have couples no defined opposite-at least in their minds-a lukewarm reaction to what they are doing or a lackluster interest in their roles the scenes will not play out as well. This is why, in the truest sense of the word, there are very few S&M switches; most participants when polled will admit to either a resolutely dominant or submissive head space and desire. It is the defined role that works best against anothers defines role.
To the outsider, the critic even, BDSM gaming seems sadistic, perverse and sad. The question is often why people need all the drama, the playacting, the pain even in their sexual lives. But what the vanilla layman fails to grasp is the interplay of the opposites, which is, in its way the most important part of a BDSM relationship. The release, whether it be an orgasm or just a flood of endorphins, comes less from the physical twists and turns a subs body is put through and the dom being the catalyst putting them through it, but the fact that in the moment of truth, foreplay and orgasm opposites are their most opposite but coexisting.